Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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