I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
