you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
