I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
