OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
