How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
