I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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