This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
