it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
