We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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