Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just blew my weed a kiss
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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