i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
