you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
