turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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