I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
