Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
