dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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