my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
