Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
