I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
don't judge my taste in strippers
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
