AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
