Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
