I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
