guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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