I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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