turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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