I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
