The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
