I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
