I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
