she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
In America we eat man semen.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
