That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this beer tastes like vomit already
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
