Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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