I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just pee around me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
