Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
