overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
