Your tits are I can't wait for
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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