Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
