Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
