I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
