i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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