I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
