is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
