It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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