The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
