that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
