***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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