what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
