Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
