I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it was like eating out sand paper
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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