Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
